A Bag of Poo

Lately there seems to be a lot of news stories about house fires and people being rescued by their dogs. One boy said he and his friend were sleeping in the basement and they wouldn't have gotten out alive if his dog hadn't bit his foot. And I can see mom eyeing us dogs wondering who is the most likely hero. And I know she thinks it's me because I heard her say "that Jackie can wake me up just by breathing on me."
I'm telling you that so you can understand my thought process last night. I had an emergency. No, it wasn't a fire and maybe it was just my own personal emergency, but it was definitely going to affect the whole family. So I tried to wake up my mom, my care taker, my best friend. And she told me to shut up. I didn't even think parents were supposed to say shut up. So I whined a little more. And then I whined a little closer to Michael's room to show her I was in desperate need. I did this for an hour. Oh, I didn't just whine. I growled a little, I put my head on her leg, I hopped up and down off the bed. I considered biting her toe, but to be honest, I couldn't fine one in all those blankets. All the while thinking--How do you know I'm not telling you the house is on fire?!?!?! And all she did was mumbled about how she didn't care how many rabbits were playing outside the window. At one point I thought my diligence was going to pay off because she finally dragged herself out of bed--with a look in her eye that made me think she might push me down the stairs so I gave her a wide berth until we were safely down. And then do you know what she did? She left me downstairs and shut the door. As if everything was taken care of. Did I mention I had an emergency?!? So I did what I haven't had to admit to since puppy hood. I made a small....deposit. I was very considerate in regards to location--I made sure that the aroma would give anybody plenty of warning before they were in danger of taking an ill advised step. I was only able to sleep for about an hour after that before I realized I was going to have a repeat performance. So this time I barked. And I barked and I barked and I barked. And Mom knew what I was barking about the minute she opened the door (did I mention the aroma?) So now here I sit on the porch. Just me and the bag of poo...