Mornings

It's hard having a mother that's not a morning person. She just squeezes every extra moment of sleep out of the day. And what is the purpose of a snooze button, really? Isn't it just a way to legitimize procrastination? Talk about wishy-washy. "I'm going to get up at 6, no--6:09, no--6:18, no--6:27, no--6:36." I mean, set your alarm for 6:36 then. How difficult is that concept? And if I happen to be sleeping between mom and the alarm clock it can be a very painful morning. First a blast of country music in my ear then WHAP! And arm slaps down across me to reach the snooze button. AND REPEAT EVERY 9 MINUTES!!!!! I've been working on a solution. Now, I don't like to get in trouble, so I had to be pretty tricky with the solution and make Jorgie think it was her idea. Just in case there's trouble later. So about 5:15 I crack one eye open and say to Jorgie and Pepper, "hmmm.... I drank too much water right before bed last night." Then a couple minutes later I say, "I can't remember--did mom leave supper sitting out on the table last night?" Then for my coup de grace I glance out the window and say, "That couldn't be a rabbit running across the yard, could it?" Long before 6:00 I have Jorgie so wound up she has her legs crossed, drool running down her chin and her ears at high alert. So of course she wakes mom up and says "please let me go outside, please, please, please!" It's usually the crossed legs that gets mom out of bed, but sure enough downstairs we go and I have avoided a morning of the snooze button. After we're done outside we like to go back in at intervals because we know that's how mom likes to wake up in the morning (she's usually sleeping on the couch waiting for us). Jorgie goes in first, about 9 minutes later Pepper goes back and then I scratch on the door after another 9 minutes but usually go back out to scare away the last rabbit and come back for real 9 minutes later. Then we all go back up to bed until Michael wakes us up.
But I told you that so I could explain how I was the one that got in trouble this morning. Everything went according to plan up until I came back in. Mom opened the door for me with a "grumble, mumble, get in here, grumble..." and I headed upstairs. When I got the good spot on the bed I should have noticed something was up (Pepper always gets there first). But instead I just cuddled in to the pillow and started to drift off to sleep. But then I noticed I was alone. I looked everywhere and didn't find anybody except Michael who was unhelpfully still asleep. And it was dark. I can't walk down the stairs in the dark! (in my defense, they are very steep narrow stairs). So I stood at the top of the stairs and tried to think of a plan. I remembered that mom always gets up right away when Michael asks her to, so I decided it was a better idea for him to ask her to turn the light on than for me to ask. I started with subtle. I said, "Michael, don't you notice you have a very wet, uncomfortable diaper on?" Then I started talking about how he'd get some delicious milk as soon as he woke up. I asked him if he was sure he wasn't afraid of the dark. Then I cried a little and maybe yelled a bit. All of a sudden I heard a shout coming up the stairs "Grumble, Mumble, JACKIE SHUT UP AND GET DOWN HERE, Mumble, Grumble!" I had forgotten about the monitor. Apparently everybody had gone back to sleep on the couch right next to the monitor so mom heard it all. As did Michael who was now asking to get up. And there was no way I could blame it on Jorgie. I think Mom may have even figured out the early mornings have been my fault, too. My status as the easiest pet may have taken a hit today...