Focus

The cat speaks:
So I have one job around the house and I do it to the very best of my ability. I don't take breaks, I don't take vacation days, I don't take sick days. I'm here, focused, doing the work tirelessly. My job is to remind Jamie "put food in the bowl." That's all I do. "Please put food in the bowl." And I might add, I do it at extreme risk to my own health and safety. I'd like you to picture Jamie laying in her bed surrounded by 3 vicious mongrels all just waiting to sink their teeth into my sensitive hide. I have to slowly, carefully, creep through the enemy camp and sneak up as close as possible to Jamie's face. I don't dare make a peep--it's too dangerous--so I stare at her waiting for her to tune in to my mission "put food in the bowl." I could end up staring all night so sometimes to hurry things along I tickle her nose with my paw and then lean in so when she wakes up we are eyeball to eyeball and nose to nose. Then she completely blows it and makes a high screeching sound which alerts the dogs and then it's off to the races while I'm yelling all the way down the stairs "PUT...FOOD...IN...THE...BOWL!!!" Luckily I'm way more agile than those beasts, so I make it to safety every time. Sometimes she barely opens her eyes and then tries to distract me from my purpose my scooting over and making room under the covers. I have to admit I've been reeled in a couple of times but before you think I'm not focused enough let me point out that usually there's already food in the bowl--I'm really just looking for her to top it off for me. The other very dangerous time I do my job is when Jamie first wakes up. She barely opens her eyes when she comes downstairs and almost always walks right past the food bowl. How hard is it to remember to put food in the bowl? So I remind her. I get really close to her feet, I weave, I jab, I go left, I go right, I'm between the feet, I'm on the feet, I'm all over the place. All just to get her attention enough to say "put food in the bowl." And clean the litter box. (good grief)