I dream of...a King Size Bed!

I'd like to describe our nightly routine and then I want some commiseration on what I have to put up with. First of all, Michael is fine. He goes to bed in his own bed without any theatrics. Just says night, night to the dogs and the cat and then kisses his baby, Elmo, his doggie, me and Pooh goodnight (usually me and Pooh get two kisses) and then listens to his music as he drifts off into dreamland. Easy. The animals are a whole other story. They are needy. Mainly they need to be closer to me than any of the other animals. If they can get a head or a foot or any other body part on me, all the better. And this is when I'm sitting on the couch watching TV. I only have two sides and there are three dogs so you'd think that would be insurmountable, but Pepper crawls up behind me on the couch and lays there with a paw or a butt hanging down resting on my head. The cat likes being close just as much as anybody else, but because she's a cat she needs to act like she doesn't care. So she crawls under my blanket and chews on my foot for a couple minutes before she curls up half on/half off my feet. There I sit, Jorgie's head pinning my arm down, Jackie's feet digging into my ribs, Pepper's butt on my shoulder and Jessie trapping me in place, not by her weight on my feet, but by her complete assurance that I am content being her pillow. As cozy as all this sounds, I've been finding myself going to bed earlier and earlier--I have to try to catch them all off guard so I can be the first one upstairs. At the very least, I try not to be the last one upstairs because if I am, I can kiss a good night's sleep goodbye. I have to be tricky because while the dogs can scoot right into the bed, I have to turn off all the lights, unplug the Christmas tree lights, turn down the heat, feed the cat and check on Michael before I can turn in. I have never beaten Pepper, but I can trick the other two dogs. Sometimes I leave a light on so they don't recognize my routine and a couple times I've put the sleep timer on the TV so that they would think I just got up to go to the bathroom. So usually I walk into my room and Pepper is on my pillow. I shove him over a little and he re-settles himself and snuggles into my back. Next Jackie comes upstairs and she gets on the bed by my feet and snuggles right into them. Now Jorgie might seem like a stupid dog, but she's never one to waste her energy, so if she sees that the best spots are already taken she just curls up right next to my bed and goes to sleep. The cat usually makes an appearance about then to bat at my face for a while, but eventually she goes into the spare room where she gets a bed all to herself. Nice and peaceful. That's what usually happens. If anybody gets out of order, though, we're toast. I've gotten upstairs a couple times to see the cat planted squarely in the middle of the bed. At that point, I'm the only one brave enough to join her and we spend the rest of the night listening to the frustrated whines of the dogs on the floor. If Pepper has already claimed his spot and Jorgie beats Jackie to the place by my feet that's the most difficult to resolve. Because Jackie does not give up easily. She usually tries to trick Jorgie first by talking about how she thinks she's going to go down and eat all the food in the house or drink the rest of the water but if that doesn't work (and sometimes it does--Jorgie really loves water) then she just climbs on up and assumes that we'll make room. Which we always do, but since none of the dogs can be directly next to each other we have some tense moments. Pepper usually ends up by my stomach, Jackie curled up by my back and Jorgie moves to the front of my legs because she doesn't want to get poked in the ribs by Jackie's toenails. I, in the mean time, could rival a pretzel when it comes to arm/leg placement. But we're all together and I guess that's important, too.